There was a time when second marriage was a taboo and the people associated with it where looked down upon Thankfully, with time, that outlook has changed. Second marriages have become pretty common, especially in cities. This kind of acceptance from the society opens doors to many opportunities. Whether you are a widow/widower or a divorcee, you can find a new partner and start a new life. But second marriages come with some baggage. It is better to be completely sure about your second marriage and enter this new life without any qualms. Matrimonial sites are a great way to meet your future spouse, especially in India. Here are a few things to consider before you proceed with the relationship:
What is the reason for the second marriage? Did your first marriage end in divorce or did your spouse pass away? Either way, always be open to your potential future spouse. Tell them why your previous marriage ended and be honest about it. The foundation of a new relationship should not be lies. When you are honest from the beginning, you can avoid a lot of problems at a later stage.
When a marriage ends, it is emotionally draining. It takes something from you and you are not the same person you were when you got married the first time. Everyone takes some time to move on from the first marriage. Before you proceed with the second marriage, evaluate yourself and be sure that you are ready for this step. You should be taking this decision for yourself and not because of pressure from your family. A second marriage requires a lot of commitment and adjustment and you can only make it work if you are dedicated to it fully.
Since you have been through it once before, you know what you expect from a marriage and your spouse. It is better to be very clear about your expectations with your future spouse. Communicate with them and make sure both of you understand each other’s expectation from the marriage. Not only will this help you understand each other better, it also lays the foundation for a stronger relationship.
If you have children from your first marriage, then it is vital that your children are onboard with your second marriage. Not only should your children accept your new spouse, they should also accept your future stepchildren. You want your new family to live in peace and love and respect each other. The best way to do this is to have everyone meet each other and spend time with each other. This way, any problems will preset from the beginning and if the problem is unsolvable, you can choose to not go forward with the marriage. However, if things work out for the good you will have a wonderful future ahead of you.
Do Not Compare:
You had a very intimate relationship with your first spouse. But once the marriage is over, you have to leave everything behind. Avoid comparing any potential spouses with your previous spouse. A comparison like that will do you no good and it will only end up hurting your future spouse. Every person has their own positives and negatives and you should learn to love each person for their own virtues. Don’t try to make them into someone they are not just so that you can feel like you are with someone you are familiar with.
A second marriage requires time and effort from both spouses. It is not easy to move one from a marriage. Moreover, you are not as young as you were when you got married the first time. You would have developed your own habits and schedules and routines. Sometimes, these can clash with your new partner’s routines and habits. However, everything can improve with time. Do not be put off just because things are not the way you expected them to be. Patience and time can heal everything and will help you become closer to each other. With time, you will understand each other better and adjust with each other.
Dealing With The Ex:
If either yours or your potential spouse’s marriage has ended in a divorce, understand how much of a role the ex-husband/ex-wife plays in your/their life. If you have children and have shared custody, then the ex will always be in the picture. You have to find a way to make peace with them and have an amicable relationship with them. If your relationship with your ex is stormy, it can affect your children adversely. It will also affect your second marriage. You should also make peace with your spouse’s ex for the same reason.
Don’t Carry Baggage:
If you had a tumultuous first marriage, it is not easy to move on from it. You may still carry some baggage from your first marriage. But this baggage should not interfere with your second marriage. For example, if your first spouse cheated on you, every time your second spouse does something remotely unusual, you can become suspicious. This is because you still carry the baggage from your first marriage. But all this kind of suspicion does is that it causes trouble in your second marriage. So, ensure that you have left all your baggage from your first marriage behind you before you enter the second marriage.
Learn From Your Mistakes:
Although this is a life lesson, it applies, especially to your second marriage. You would have evaluated yourself after your first marriage and wished that you had done some things differently. Well, a second marriage is your chance to do things differently. Learn from your mistakes from the first marriage and this will ensure that you have a healthier relationship with your second spouse.
Time After Your First Marriage:
It takes some time to heal after the first marriage as ended. Give yourself this time and also ensure that your potential future spouse has had the time to heal. If it obvious that you have not really recovered from the ending of your first marriage, then you should wait for some more time before you enter the second marriage.
Second marriage matrimonial sites
There are many ways you can meet your potential spouse. One of the popular methods in India are matrimonial sites and they are a great way to meet your future spouse. When you don’t have time from your work to go on dates with multiple people before you meet the perfect spouse for you, a matrimonial site can help you find someone who wants the same things as you do. You can meet them in real life after you talk to them online and then take the relationship to the next level if you deem it fit.
Here are the list of matrimonial sites for second marriage
Other than these you can also use mainstream matrimonial sites to find yourself a partner